I used to demand a virgin
Attend my bed each night
Until, upon retiring
In the candlelight,
Appeared the hulking,
One legged, three eyed,
Bald headed, hunchbacked,
Club fisted, hairy thighed
Drooling, Warped,
Warty and Bedsore,
Smelling of urine,
Vomit and whore,
Stange, unnerving form of
Arteminias Miffic.
Since then I have been
Somewhat more specific.